Emotions are part of life for everyone; regardless of their type, everyone uses Thinking for some decisions and Feeling for others.
We often hear that feelers are inherently more emotional than thinking types and most of the time people will see someone who’s emotional and instantly type them as a “Feeler.” But, don't confuse feeling with emotion. Everyone has emotions about the decisions they make, they just have a different starting point in making those decisions. So please don’t ever call a Thinking type cold. They do have emotions; they just have a different way of showing them!
When presented with a decision, people with the Thinking preference typically lean on objective information. Knowledge is their indispensable tool. They generally manage their relationships by employing fairness and effectiveness as their primary method of dealing with others.
Whatever value people with the Thinking personality preference place on relationships, when making a decision they are more likely to dismiss emotional responses, either their own or those of others. But that doesn’t mean they have hearts of stone. They often feel in deep, profound ways – they would just rather not decide matters from that place. Their primary filter is, “How does this help?”
People with the Feeling (F) preference follow their hearts and emotions – sometimes without even realising it. They may show it to different degrees and in different ways, but however they do it, Feeling personality types tend to be caring, compassionate, and warm.
But this reliance on feelings doesn’t mean there is no logic – theirs is just a different logic. They see that emotions can’t simply be waved away, so feelings and the welfare of others shape their lives more than stark facts and cold objectivity. Their primary filter is, “Who does this help?”
But Thinking types are thicker skinned than Feeling types, right?
Because Feeling types are more sensitive to the perceived intentions and motives of others, they tend to take things more personally and be more affected by criticism. So, if we’re talking about the ability to accept criticism, yes, in general, Feeling types will appear more thin-skinned than Thinking types.
However, Thinking types can also be thin-skinned, but usually about different criteria. Their feelings can get hurt when someone insults their logic, their plans, or their competence. They may be able to accept constructive criticism like champs, but they may react strongly when someone questions these inherent preferences.
Relationships between Thinkers and Feelers have their pros and cons. Even though they may clash at times, they can balance each other with logic and empathy. The Feeling type brings magic and softness to the relationship, while the Thinker brings a more objective perspective.
As we know, there are many factors that make up who we are, and these terms refer to general ways we operate, and aren’t meant to put us in a box. A personality assessment like the MBTI should be just one tool to help you understand who you are and to help you grow; it’s a great starting point.
Read more about the MBTI or contact us to discuss further.
This blog forms part of the Myers-Briggs myth busting series I am doing with Tamsin Regnes.
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